the week from hell

is almost over.
recruiting has become such a rollercoaster ride in the condo that sven said "peace. i need a bahamavention" and fled to a race in the caribbean. i don't blame him. i've been a wreck lately.
since this week has been so up-and-down, my emotions are running a little closer to the surface than normal. today in management communications when jordan told a story about the aftermath of katrina and how his company didn't abandon its policyholders; i teared up. i'm not sure he saw me. but that hurricane has become symbolic of that time in my life. i was in turmoil, too. so seriously that i didn't even know the katrina had made landfall until 2 days later. i remember how awful i felt for letting the trivial things in my life overshadow a national disaster. not having a tv, i never saw most of the images of the destruction, so even now when i see them i choke up. i stopped driving my car and rode my bike to work with a sign on my back asking motorists to think twice before driving needlessly. please let the gulf coast have the oil; we don't really need to take that extra trip to walgreen's. at the bottom of my sign i put "peace and love". maybe people thought i was a hippie. i'm not sure i cared. it was all i could do to show that i shared sorrow with the people of louisianna. it was one of those periods in a long string since then that has connected me to a greater humanity and i'm grateful. it helped steer me to business school, in fact.
but that story is for another day.
along the lines of getting choked up: meet pep.
i am delighted to be engaging in an activity that comes from my heart. as a business advisor, i'll never meet the people i help, but it means so much to me that i share with those who aren't as lucky as i am. i may be paying darden $43,000 per year, but it pales in comparison to the time lost in their lives while in prison. it's the least i can do to ensure that someone who wants a fresh start after incarceration can have one.
and now i fall into bed, too tired from yet another day of cramming information into my head (decision trees! strategy! storytelling to convey meaning as a leader! interviewing! the list goes on!)...

contemplating goals for 11 hours at DTW

this weekend i was reminded why i was put on this earth (and no, it was not to have the best hair in the lower 48). i did a bunch of interviewing, traveling, reading, and surfing the net. all were done with a singular purpose of me finding the right way to get the job/internship that will serve my career path. it is not to make money (though i really want one of these with an after-market 6-speed). it is not to have a cool corner office. it is not to have full dental coverage. it is to make a gigantic impact on the world through leadership in a powerful business. many guffaw at this desire, and tell me i can't do it. but i can, and i will. and i don't do so to prove anybody wrong. i do so because it's right.
this journey through my first year of my mba has taught me that when i believe in something, i have nearly limitless energy for it. sleep is not important. vacuuming my carpet is not important (aaron usually breaks down and does it, anyway). washing my car is not important (irony!). my goals are important and though i won't bore anybody with them on this blog, just trust that i am more determined than ever to make an impact in the business dealings on this planet. when the company with revenues equal to the 20th largest economy in the world speaks up and says the same thing...we might be on to something. some may stand on their soapboxes and accuse me of being brainwashed by all the khaki and cashmere twinsets of b-skool. but i am not. i'm the same girl who started at darden in august. the same girl whose summer job in high school was to raise a 4-H market steer. i'm just mandy. only i now have much more debt.
as "big business" managers, we are foolish to ignore the planet on which we live. companies are more than the sum of their parts, yes. but those parts are all human beings. and most of those human beings have souls and compassion and care about the future. and if led properly by conscientious leaders; can channel their energies into making this world better. each day i learn more and more about how business works. each day i understand more and more about the pitfalls we encounter that steer us from the path of creating a peaceful and profitable existence. it's these pitfalls that give bigbiz such a bad rap, thus emphasizing the necessity of strong and ethical leaders.
true leadership is about inclusion, not exclusion or fear. when we lead with this in mind, we can expect great things from those around us, and in turn our companies will be better than we found them. i am more and more convinced that most of us want the same things. but for some reason we forget it and let party lines divide us. the "darden bubble" is very real and though we can't always expect to have such an amazingly high-functioning and open-minded atmosphere in our future jobs; we can carry the spirit with us and truly listen to others and try to pick out the similarities instead of myopically focusing on differences. the sames outnumber the differents...and that should hearten us all.

reality check du jour

we mbas are sometimes accused of being pretty self-centered. so are pro athletes. i guess i see the reasoning. but let's shelve that conversation for another day.
this publc perception doesn't stop me from occasionally lapsing into "me me me" behavior at the expense of those i love. i've had a few instances of it this week and though i know i intended no harm, perception is reality and i needed to think things through before i decided that i was the most important person in the world.
"i'm trying to get a meaningful and challenging internship"
"i need sleep"
"i have zero time flexibility"
"i need to go running"
"i need to read 3 cases tonight"
...the excuses abound.
but the fact remains that i forgot what my actions looked like to those i loved, so i'm trying to make good on my value proposition of being a worthwhile person. a component of that is by not arguing with what someone thinks they see in your behavior. does protesting too much help my cause? not really.
okay, enough ambiguity.
here is where i was actually going with this post: a reminder came to me today that told me (rightfully so) that nailing my STAR format in an interview is 100% trivial compared to what this angel is going through. here is an update from a friend who is my age and underwent therapy (i'd attempt to describe what it was but i'd get it wrong. chemo is a start) for breast cancer. she is now considering her options between a surgery and some less-conventional methods:
"Because, here is where I stand now: according to my last two MRI's, for all intents and purposes I am currently cancer free. But like all cancers, and especially breast cancer there is no guarantee that it won't come back. Even if I did everything under the sun that everyone ever told me to do, it could still return. You are never given a stamped and sealed guarantee that you are free and clear forever. Ken put it well. He said that one 'side effect' of radical surgery is a feeling of being safe, which leads people to stop towing the line. There are things about my life that I absolutely cannot ever go back to. The big three are diet, exercise, and sugar. I will always be watching what I eat very very carefully, I will now be a dedicated exercise nut, and I have to serve divorce papers to my one true love, sugar. Sugar is the food that cancer likes best. {edited for brevity} I don't think that this is a 'magic bullet'. I have asked H. to help me closely watch for any signs that this approach is not working. If there is evidence that I am in danger of a reoccurence I will return to the original plan. It is important to me to try this way first. This falls into line with what I value fundamentally. Absolutely everything about conventional cancer treatment feels 'wrong' to me, personally. It does not feel like medicine and healing to have your body poisoned and burned and cut. This is in no way a judgment on the many people who choose this route and get results and live long lives. This is also not denial on my part ~ cancer is big, scary and serious. I am taking what I am doing with the utmost seriousness. I believe that our bodies are capable of incredible healing, and outrageous wellness. This approach feels right to me, and I am going to trust my instincts on that. I imagine to you my loved ones, that this will sound scary. I ask you to trust me ~ I have pulled a team of brilliant people around me. I continue to welcome input, advice, and thoughts from anyone. If anyone has questions please feel free to ask."

dear readers: i challenge you to ponder her words and think about the perspective it gives you in your life. how do your worries net out compared to what stares her in the face?
i know one thing: she is stronger than i will ever be.
i salute her.

Please don't bring your kids over

because they might die. in this photo of my new kitchen workspace (minus the t.b.d. backsplash), can you identify the objects that will kill a child?

therefore, you might want to keep those under 3 out of my condo. oh heck, let's round it up to 18 and call it good.

in other news:

-it snowed 5 inches in cville

-pandemonium ensued

-i missed an interview on account of the acura's wimpy battery

also, i got this superluckycat tunic from industry clothing. it's so cool! they use vintage clothing (in this case, scarves) and breathe new life into it through some creative piecework! rad!

ps: classes start on monday

I'm in L-O-V-E

Again!
With Business School!
Again!
Over the break I had disconnected a bit from Darden. It needed to happen and I focused on Mandy and on getting healthy. I'm so glad I did, because I returned to campus today with renewed vigor to contribute to my the school, the learning and well-being of my classmates, and my own education.
Most people dread interviews. I do not. Here is a chance to do what I do best: present a compelling, genuine story that illustrates the type of person that I am (driven, innovative, ethical and high-performing) and why I fit with the company and what talents and skills I will bring to them.
Awesome stuff!
Pollyanna, signing off...
(though I must admit I hate wearing suits)

Sometimes you just need to smile

if these don't make you do so...wtf?

okay, so this photo may not have cute fuzzy puppets, but it is crafty. notice anything witty about the jersey? is trompe l'oeil the new wave in kit design?

all photos snaked from ryan heffernan photography

and now for some less-p/c puppets...

It's 66 degrees in Charlottesville today!

so of course i had a great run.
i decided that i needed an event to train for. i am no good at staying in shape if i don't have some goals. "being fit" doesn't do the trick for me...i need something more concrete!
i'm running a 1/2 marathon on march 2nd in maryland. i've even roped a few classmates into the fun, too. it's the day before our 3rd quarter finals begin, but it'll be good for my motivation and ability to structure my life and school. as a side benefit, my lungs will stay primed for riding...which i'm beginning to think i might like doing again.
speaking of running, i thought i'd share a photo mom took today of
-one of my favorite running partners (minnie the border collie: queen of the jrl ranch)-one of my favorite places to run.
yes, oregon is magical.

what is not whimsical or nostalgic is the summer internship interviewing process....so many possibilities and scenarios! talk about decision trees!

I guess it's not always paradise around here

it gets cold in virginia. i'll admit it.
so today was a day to stay inside and hide from the cold. and avoid wearing a coat for yet another blissful day.
at least it's not raining like it is (89% chance) in portland right now.
we've been painting up a storm. or, should i say, sven has been painting and i've been supervising. who said i was too motivated for government work? i would make a fine caltrans employee with all the supervising i've been doing.
witness mr "i didn't use any tape and it's perfect" work his magic. and stop for a beer-bottle-painting break.

the end of the world

didn't happen last night. apparently some leftover y2k paranoia still floats out there on the innerwebz.
if the computer thingie doesn't get us, we will surely nuke ourselves.
in other news, i made a great apple tart for new year's eve. which is apparently sven's favorite breakfast.

on the left is james mann, a darden classmate who is way smarter and cooler than me. me and my sparkly dress. the svennycakes, of course (with a cool haircut i gave him).
but before 2007 floated into memory, we did a little kitchen demolition. my kitchen sucks anyway, so an improvement isn't hard to come by. look at the studly euromulleted man with his hammer.


bye for now. off to mitigate the mess in my closet before i start to admit that i have to go back to school/interviews soon. ugh.