365 days of boring

So I have to vent a bit. About the silly girls I see on Halloween. I have never understood how American women take the occasion of Halloween to let out their inner tigress. My argument: why limit it to Halloween? Be a powerful and lovely woman and all that stuff 365 days a year. Not just on holidays where it’s more socially acceptable to run around in thigh-high fishnets. Push the envelope. Do it on a random Thursday in March. Wear them under your pantsuit.
I don’t know why so many American women are uncomfortable with being sexy every day. Exhibit 1: J-Jill. The world’s worst store for women aged 20-60. Second only to Chico’s in its ability to take a perfectly beautiful woman and frump her up. Put on the Dansko clogs and voila!: instabore. Waddle over to your minivan and fetch the kids at soccer. Sheesh!

That’s not sexy. That’s wallpaper.
Women of America: please do not believe the myth that you have to hide how beautiful you are (only to be unleashed on Halloween). I’m not saying show a ton of skin all the time. But for heaven’s sake celebrate yourself! Don’t hide under shapeless fabric, ugly prints, and uninteresting silhouettes. Buy crazy jewelry. Wear brown shoes with black pants. Shop somewhere besides Ann Taylor and Banana Republic. Try to avoid saying “I just want something simple that goes with everything” for one blessed month. Stop being so sensible! Do you want that on your gravestone? You might ask how high-and-MightyMandy might spend her Halloween? Not as a French maid. I will be this man. There will be no cleavage.
(And Jonny will be Keira Knightly as Elizabeth Swan )