I lopped off (and donated) my luxurious locks last weekend right before I did my 2nd ever triathlon. The haircut was the more gratifying of the two experiences.
Pre
During
Post
The tri was a full-immersion (pun intended) in the sport and the reasons that I waffle between respectable and bad with momentary flashes of brilliance. I did pretty dismally.
I learned the hard way, coach John and I postulate, that "drafting" in triathlon means "being in the same time zone". I deserved the penalty, admittedly, for not reading the race bible. I thought I was done with those things? However the drafting penalty is just a theory because they never tell you why the penalty. I guess that they applaud introspection. I can live with that.
Barring the penalty, I would have been the 10th overall woman. I consider this logic not like the usual bike racing excuse, where people say "if only I had a good wheel in the last turn" or "I ran out of water" or "that jerkface from [insert rival team name here] chopped me" or "I was chasing all day". This was purely beginner's ignorance, and not a lack of skill on my part. Just a lack of reading the race bible. A mistake I assure you I shall never make again though it pains me to dip my toe into the water of geekdom with that pledge.
Of course I made smash on the bike (thank you, Bear Cub, for the siiiiick Zipp disc wheel), and didn't get a lick of benefit from "drafting", if indeed that was the penalty. I remember a time or two being a few bike lengths behind someone who thought they could pass me (wrong answer!), but otherwise felt rather alone. Drafting where I come from is 5 centimeters, not 5 meters. When in Rome...
Lesson learned: check
Regarding my penalty, I don't imagine I could have done anything illegal in the swim except nearly drowning and causing inordinate stress for the guys in the lifeboats. I was so bad I just floated on my back the entire time. I panicked when I jumped in the water and started inhaling underwater and exhaling when I came up. The wetsuit kept me buoyant but I was unused to it and felt even more helpless. I just got into a rhythm of "gasp, backstroke, gasp, exclaim 'holyjebus'/’holycrap’, gasp, backstroke". Notice how there was more gasping and exclaiming than swimming in any direction.
I ended up 14th overall in the women (that includes my time penalty) and had the fastest female bike leg by far, coming in 32nd overall in that. I humiliated a bunch of dudes when they downloaded the results to their little spreadsheets on Monday (and you know 80% of those guys did).
I am not much of a geek but this sport could turn you into one. You have to piece together a good race with so many separate parts. The pursuit of said physiological patchwork is addicting.
In the spirit of that, here is what I need to improve:
1. Shave 20% off my swim. Not a bad aspiration, considering I am starting from panicking and hyperventilating and swimming on my back. Do that and I’d be within striking distance of the top women in the whole field. Mind you, this is the DFW metroplex we're talking about, not all free nations of the world). Remember all the while that my training in a pool does not at all equate to an open-water endeavor. Not even close.
2. A 5k in a triathlon is not a 5k in training (well, in my training, anyway). I’ve been putting in 7:20-7:35 miles on the treadmill and on my self-imposed death marches around Pleasanton. If I’m running next to an athletic man, I put in sub-7:00 miles on account of my ego. Could I have done that in this event? Not a chance, apparently. 8:21, which is like crawling compared to what I’m used to. What if I could shave off even 2 minutes from my total 5k?
3. Transitions kill you. Mine were in the mid-pack, and probably shaving 45 seconds off my total 3:45 of transitions would nudge me from (albeit local) mediocrity.
Put it this way: making those three improvements alone and I would have plunked my size 9.5 feet on the overall podium.
Man, this sport is both easy and hard at the same time. wouldacouldashoulda can fill up some hours!
Maybe I should just switch to Olympic distance so I could no longer flirt with single-digit placings…Then I’d still suck and do so for even longer!
Of course I made smash on the bike (thank you, Bear Cub, for the siiiiick Zipp disc wheel), and didn't get a lick of benefit from "drafting", if indeed that was the penalty. I remember a time or two being a few bike lengths behind someone who thought they could pass me (wrong answer!), but otherwise felt rather alone. Drafting where I come from is 5 centimeters, not 5 meters. When in Rome...
Lesson learned: check
Regarding my penalty, I don't imagine I could have done anything illegal in the swim except nearly drowning and causing inordinate stress for the guys in the lifeboats. I was so bad I just floated on my back the entire time. I panicked when I jumped in the water and started inhaling underwater and exhaling when I came up. The wetsuit kept me buoyant but I was unused to it and felt even more helpless. I just got into a rhythm of "gasp, backstroke, gasp, exclaim 'holyjebus'/’holycrap’, gasp, backstroke". Notice how there was more gasping and exclaiming than swimming in any direction.
I ended up 14th overall in the women (that includes my time penalty) and had the fastest female bike leg by far, coming in 32nd overall in that. I humiliated a bunch of dudes when they downloaded the results to their little spreadsheets on Monday (and you know 80% of those guys did).
I am not much of a geek but this sport could turn you into one. You have to piece together a good race with so many separate parts. The pursuit of said physiological patchwork is addicting.
In the spirit of that, here is what I need to improve:
1. Shave 20% off my swim. Not a bad aspiration, considering I am starting from panicking and hyperventilating and swimming on my back. Do that and I’d be within striking distance of the top women in the whole field. Mind you, this is the DFW metroplex we're talking about, not all free nations of the world). Remember all the while that my training in a pool does not at all equate to an open-water endeavor. Not even close.
2. A 5k in a triathlon is not a 5k in training (well, in my training, anyway). I’ve been putting in 7:20-7:35 miles on the treadmill and on my self-imposed death marches around Pleasanton. If I’m running next to an athletic man, I put in sub-7:00 miles on account of my ego. Could I have done that in this event? Not a chance, apparently. 8:21, which is like crawling compared to what I’m used to. What if I could shave off even 2 minutes from my total 5k?
3. Transitions kill you. Mine were in the mid-pack, and probably shaving 45 seconds off my total 3:45 of transitions would nudge me from (albeit local) mediocrity.
Put it this way: making those three improvements alone and I would have plunked my size 9.5 feet on the overall podium.
Man, this sport is both easy and hard at the same time. wouldacouldashoulda can fill up some hours!
Maybe I should just switch to Olympic distance so I could no longer flirt with single-digit placings…Then I’d still suck and do so for even longer!
Evidence that all things come to an end:
Post-race was followed by the traditional (all two times a tradition!) nap in the backyard in a Lisa Lozano bikini w/ kitteh. This time Brutus accompanied his Mama.
1 comment:
Cute! And having shorter hair will also help shave time off your totals.
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