Merry Crashmas! The gift that keeps on giving...

so i've discovered that crashing is like an advent calendar. remember those? every day you'd open a little window in the thing and be greeted with a new piece of chocolate or some other lovely treat. one year, my mom even went so far as to send me a mini-tree with 25 wrapped packages on it, one for every day that i'd be away from my blessed family during my first winter in the cackalacky.

ah..memories.

so my crash at somerville has turned me from the mandykitten to oozy smurf. every new day on the oozy smurf advent calendar reveals bruises turning a different color. also, my microbial activities beneath the compeede patches yield new and exciting shades of oozing slime, which threaten the magazine-readiness of my 800-thread count pottery barn sheets. and lastly, my hip and elbow hurt in new and uncharted places. wtf?

the plus side of my crash: vignettes, of course!

vignette 1: when diego, carlos and mary ann (who all happened to be standing right there) rushed over to scrape me off the pavement, all i could do was worry about the lens of my rudy project sunglasses. one had popped off and escaped being run over by 90 women (as did the mandykitten). amazing. they checked my bike, i pointed with my gimpy arm "please pick up my lens". priorities

vignette 2: when i walked over to the paramedic station to get evaluated, i discovered 15 men lounging round under a tent. i grabbed the least macho one (named luigi) and asked that he look me over. luigi and a cohort took me into the paramedic van to have a looksee. then it came time to check out my hip. i pulled down my mangled shorts and tried to pretend (since the mandytee is finally EXTINCT!) that i was really at a sports illustrated swimsuit shoot. suddenly, 5 more paramedics appeared in the van. simultaneously, one of them asked me how old i was. i told him. another said "wow", and i'm hoping it was in reference to my age and not my hips, which were on full display for no less than 7 jersey boys. as soon as luigi had determined that i was not going to need bedrest and 7 seasons of buffy the vampire slayer on dvd for my recovery, i pulled my shorts up.

vignette 3: on my dejected way back toward the targetraining team volvo, i was apprehended by the nicest damn people. they took my bike, handed me a beer (killian's red, no less), shoved me into a lawn chair, fed me meatballs (world's best as far as i can tell!) and put a 3-month old maltese puppy in my lap. they offered to lynch the girl who had taken me out (i assured them that though we were in spitting range of tony soprano's house, that would not be necessary), and peppered me with questions about my beloved sport. i was befriended by two youngsters (ages 8 and 9 i think) who were very curious about bike racing and sports. it was fun to talk to the younger generation. i think that was the first recorded case in mandykitten/oozy smurf history of a pleasant exchange between me and someone under 12.

so, i got nicely tanked and rejoined my team after the race. i maintain that my alcohol consumption was strictly medicinal. the 3 glasses of sangria i had later that night with kathleen a her parents were also, of course, medicinal. needless to say, i did not drive home.

not only do we bike race, but we do a might good bit of lounging in comfy clothes. notice me, rockin the vanderkitten leo shirt!

i hate that i laughed

but i am totally pimping my acura.

For Megan's wedding, my hair required an engineering degree

and a rug hook. no joke. here it is after bobbypin removal.

and before

As if you needed another reason...

to race the upcoming nrc raleigh twilight criterium!!!! oh yeah, check me and (former) coachie charlie out. sweet. rockin our respective red kits.

seriously, though...every pro 1,2 boyracer and pro 1,2,3 chick should skeedaddle on down for the large prize purse and glory! not to mention, it's about 1/2 mile from a krispy kreme distribution center with a constantly-illuminated "hot donuts now" sign!

happypukingfun and wedded bliss

i'm back from
1. kansas city
2. the dead
yesterday began with me waking up at 4 a.m., with 2 hours of sleep, and thinking i was gonna throw up.
on the way to the airport, we had to pull over so i could puke on the side of the road and all over my jeans. i have no idea what it was that made me so sick; i only had one gin & tonic at the wedding!
thus began a trip from hell, with one layover in chicago and 4 hours in new york city, trying to get back to connecticut. did i mention that i could hardly walk and had to lug 80 pounds of luggage through grand central and penn station? awesome. i even called someone at one point, crying because i was so tired and defeated. oh how the mighty have fallen.
i finally arrived in westport and instantly collapsed on a couch at targetraining, napping and only waking up to field various phone calls.
i went to bed at 6:30 p.m. and woke up at 7:30 a.m. i think i set a new personal record. i felt like such crap.
yet, on a good note: megan and michael's wedding was sooooooo much fun!!!!!!! they are a great couple and i predict great things from them and their marriage. yay!
they bought a new house, which i got to use as my homebase last week in k.c. the house is cursed with ugly drapes and wallpaper, the former of which were incorporated into a skirt for me on saturday night as i tried on shoes to go with my bridesmaid's dress. i ended up wearing the shoe on my left foot. (i know you were dying to know that)

my teammate is so hot

that you probably don't even notice my nostrils in this pic. i mean, seriously: leigh valletti is a BABE!!!!!!!!ps: burt's bees does not test on animals.
pps: joe martin was fun fun fun! despite the road rash, we raced incredibly well as a team and, together with director sportif greg, did our own small part to change "the game". all too often bike races are viewed by their participants as being a foregone conclusion. hell no! we tried our damndest to make sure that didn't happen...and in the process pushed ourselves to reach new levels. come nature valley (june), we'll be flying!
ppps: popular opinion says i look like a brontosaurus in this photo? you agree?

class is in session, girls

okay. lesson 1.
this is gravel when you see it, ride straight through it.
DO NOT SWERVE!
and if you decide to swerve, don't do it at mile 2 of a 65-mile road race and crash 10 chicks!!!!!! and one of those chicks is me!!!!! wtf???????
lesson 2.
this is cyclo-cross
try it sometime. if mandy can ride her bike at over 20 mph into a sandpit, through mud, and dismount while rolling; then you can ride over a few rocks the size of marbles.
end of lesson. now go play on your bike.