Now accepting applications

ever since i realized racing bikes is dope, i decided that there should be some sort of sweepstakes for racers. you win the big cardboard check and ed mcmahon comes to your door with balloons and awards you with a year of paid bicycle racng. don't laugh, boys (ha! stoooopid girl! it's called "pro team"!). you get to do it. girls do not. there are only 15 of us in the country (and i say us because i'm a girl, not cause i'm in the group) who can even eat more than ramen on what we earn racing. so a sweepstakes isn't so far down the "dreams" list. it directly follows "i want a pony" and "i want the 2006 holiday barbie" and definitely supercedes "i want the new adam myerson complaining about cyclo-cross dvd". but is waaaay below brian vernor's "pure sweet hell" dvd on the dreams list. which, by the way, i have asked santa for every year and i get NO LOVE!
so anyway...i couln't drum up adequate sponsorship ("adequate" means i can still buy frou frou lattes) for said sweepstakes endeavor, and i gave up temporarily.
but now the fever is back. but this time it's for something completely useless. hanging out on the timesuck that is myspace/blogspot/facebook/cyclingnews/pezcyclingnews/thebikegame. and getting paid. wouldn't that be great? all those guys who live in their mom's basements and play dungeons & dragons when not online need some financial freedom and wherewithall to move out and stop eating meatloaf every night. maybe i'll give it a shot, too. (though my mom doesn't live within 3000 miles of me and rarely makes meatloaf. come to think of it we didn't have much of a basement, either. it always flooded. oh, and they don't have real electricity, so running the computer/xbox/grow lights is a bit tough.)
i digress...
so, the sweepstakes committee (me) is taking applications to support some sad sap to do what i outlined above.i'm gonna whip up a cool webpage where you can apply to be a fully-supported internet loiterer. but i may put a clause in there banning dungeons & dragons.
it's gonna be cool. and the first 17 finalists get these:

that's street value $19.95 USD, for all you wanting to be in-the-know.

you know you wanna try.