Just me and The Cheat...on the Turnpike

so the cheat (pictured at left) and i left charlottesville yesterday at 5. right on time, as scheduled. i am sooooooo good. being on time is a religion for me. which sucks when you're on time for puberty at 14 and it's slow to arrive and by the time you're 16 it does and you forgot you asked for it and suddenly the boys say you went to cleveland over the summer and it's wierd. but then they start calling and you forget about wierd and instead devote your time to sneaking out of the house at night to party. and then you get caught. oops.

but i digress.

so i had the acura packed to the water line. you couldn't stuff another pair of donald j. pliner pumps in there. i had the cheat unceremoniously crammed in the back window. i was driving along, minding my own business, and suddenly the cheat chimes in. seems i had him jammed so tight that every bump activated his voicebox and he yelled at me. he also liked certain songs and beats more than others (hated jay-z but loved kelly clarkson. didn't care for skynnard but liked the talking heads). when i was on the phone, he would sometimes object to my conversation and yell about that. true story. scab together $39 and buy one here. they rock. and by the way, his name is "the cheat" and it must be spoken in its entirety. forget for a moment there is a space between the two words. it's like syllables. you have to address him like "oh, the cheat, pipe down!" or "hey, the cheat, what did you do with the remote?"

and if you just had no idea what i wrote in the above vignette, edumicate yoseff heyahh.

so the cheat and i made the 8-hour drive to connecticut through 7 states that was supposed to take 6 hours. en route i experienced the craziest nj turnpike exit ever made. i exited and was rerouted back south for about 2 miles, driving like motocross, and having a grand time. i didn't see any shantytowns or trolls under the 3 bridges i navigated, but i wouldn't have been suprised if one showed up. i swear that there were 18 turns in my exit to the sunoco gas station, and if you threw in some barriers, bell-ringing belgians, and a few yards of hurricane fencing you'd have a cyclocross course. the acura (pictured above) didn't complain, though. it's a good little auto.

but i am complaining about the $20 in tolls. they make us southern-dwellers pay out the nose to come north, but they get to come south for cheap. all for the krispy kremes, i guess.

tomorrow is the gimbles road ride in connecticut. i guess if you listen really closely at the beginning, you hear a start gun go off. i hate race/rides. especially when there are no checks or podium girls at the end. boo.