Hot Chamois and a Windy Day (sounds like the new Yanni album)

Such an interesting day.
I started off by waking up early-ish to check my email and see if Rick had some web copy edits for me. He’s in Israel at the moment, so the 7-hour time difference whacks me out.
I did some worky-work, and my laundry. I had a ride at 1 with a cool girl, Rachel. She looks like Anna Paquin. More on her later.
So, I take my kit out of my washer/dryer combo (motto: “do two things but neither thing well”). And I was all stoked: Yay! I get to put on a nice warm bit of clothing and pedal around for a few hours! I love residual dryer toastiness.
Let’s edit that. I pulled on my chamois, and was immediately greeted with the none-too-pleasant sensation of a 3rd-degree burn. Who has been BURNED by their chamois before? Don’t know. Apparently all those techy layers hold mega heat, because it hurt. I did a little dance around the hallway to take the edge off.
Then, I stupidly pulled on my full-zip jersey. No dice. The zipper was scorching and now I have a nice little welt on my neck from a 900-degree zipper.
Holeymoley, as Jens Voigt would say.
Based on this morning’s occurrences I am retracting my previous assertions that my damn washer/dryer thing is actually good for the environment.
Reason 1: in order to heat my clothes to melting point in the drying process, a large amount of fossil fuel must be burned. We’re talking enough to take the Tennessee Valley Authority grid down a notch or two.
Reason 2: if by chance the GENERATION of said ridiculous heat is not the direct result of burning fossil fuels and is instead extracted straight from the core of the earth (my new suspicion), then we’ve got some environmental issues there, too. I’d imagine that the “center of the earth-grade heat” must be drilled out. And if you’ve ever seen an oil rig, I’m guessing that’s the process. And you never see an oil rig without a raft of Greenpeacers. So I’m extrapolating once again that the environment is getting royally f-ed, or at least the population of a few pods of whales. Hence the Greenpeacers.
So, in closing: I’m not too sure I condone the purchase of a washer/dryer combo. But it does save space.
So, I show up for my ride with Rachel. She’s adorable (see lookalike actress pic at left). And incredibly tolerant. I nearly killed her 94 times before leaving the metropolis of Charlottesville. Following Mandy through traffic is akin to chasing a cockroach around your kitchen. Just do whatever you’ve gotta do.
Then we began the windy part of our ride, which was...oh...right...ALL of our ride. Rachel was kind enough to track her calories burned on her PowerTap, and doing a bit of fancy math to tell me how many calories I was burning since the Mandytee is twice her size. (on a side note…the Mandytee may be nearing extinction. Check back after I go to El Salvador for the World Cup in March). We did some urban terrorism by (gasp!) riding on the road where there were other people in cars. I even got the f-word once from some jackass in a purple Acura. Hey, dude: you have a purple car. You have bigger problems.
So, now I’m writing more web copy (and I PROMISE to post the results once we finish! Mine is not a mythical occupation like in Office Space), and maxin and relaxin and stuff. It’s gonna be a 20+ hour week on the bike. Not much by the standards of some, but a lot by the standards of the Mandy.
Peace.
PS: This has got to be one of the funniest things I've seen lately. And it's also a test. Do you have to be a fan of HomestarRunner to enjoy? Methinks not. Weigh in, people.