I'm going to get a lot of shit for this. But at least I'm honest. Here goes-
--
Today I got a spoonful of "the world is very large and you don't matter much right now".
I did a little ‘cross race in Richmond because Sven and Nick wanted to throw down on a pleasant Sunday afternoon following Sven downing 14 Yuenglings while watching the BoSox win. I accompanied them and studied in the car.
I won my race by a few minutes, and remember hearing some guy yell “grab the top tube first!” once while I was dismounting for a barrier. I don’t pretend to have textbook dismount form, but it’s fast and it works and if you’ve ever seen the Belgians do it; anything goes. In the end, “fast” wins over “style” (and I'd like to think that I have both 90% of the time).
After the race I was riding laps for fun and stopped for a second at the car. This guy came up to me and, without even saying hello, spewed “you know you’re supposed to grab your top tube before you dismount, right?” Though I was caught off-guard, I said with an innocent smile “I’m aware of that” and didn’t say anything else. I just continued to smile at him, incredulous that he would be so rude as to assume that I needed advice and to not introduce himself or even ask me about my race.
I rode around a while and got really pissed. Doesn’t he know who I am? Does “alternate on the World Championship team” or “6th – ranked in the USA” or “top 50 in the world” mean anything to him? Hasn’t he read cyclingnews or velonews in the past few years? Has he heard of clothing for women who kick ass? I expounded on such thoughts to Sven, who told me to chill out.
And then I stopped and did just that. What the hell WAS I thinking? Why should I care? Is he required to know “who I am” to be a fan of cyclocross? No ("WHO am I anyway?"). Does he care that I used to have a high world ranking? That I am a pro? No and no. Do those rankings make me a better person? Absofuckingluutely not. Am I even that “famous” anyway? Not really. He probably had good intentions in talking to me, and simply forgot his manners by a. not introducing himself and b. offering unsolicited advice.
He even asked me later (again without pleasantries) if I was racing 'cross for the first time. Though Sven and Nick (um...pros) assured me that I looked just fine while winning.
Enter Darden:
I experienced what we call (in Leading Organizations class) an “identity abrasion”. I was letting myself feel attacked as a person and as a competent bike racer; as if my entire sense of self was under scrutiny. This was of course not the case, but nevertheless a prevalent mindset in person-to-person interactions. It’s a dangerous trap to fall into, because it leads to a destructive downward spiral of anger, barriers and defensiveness.
No thanks. Next time, I’ll find the “chill” button sooner. Humble pie is good for the soul.
But it did sting for a minute...
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40 comments:
oh mandy. improper dismount technique? really? we can no longer be friends.
aw, who am i kidding, i can't stay mad at you!
why are you so (deservedly) self-assured about the bicycling but so (unnecessarily) negative about school?
i remember you atmo.
you rock sista!
i seriously need some dismount coaching, i'll take your style anyday...
all you need to know is scissor, top tube, barrier, and you clearly forgot the top tube part. hellooooooo!
fo' shizzle, next time, just challenge that bugger to a dance off. you'd set his feet on fire!
I wanna know who it is... I want to give them some shit. I'll even sic the "Blog Bully" on him!
What!
I know who you are, and so does everyone (so I thought)! I wanted to say "hey" and introduce myself as a fellow blogger, but never saw a good opp and wanted to give you your space. Seems like it's a good thing I did... Anyways, don't let one JA spoil the day.
I'm a retired pro; I went to worlds; I... I... I... How about, I can improve on my form? You're right nobody knows who the hell you are. You are one of a very small crowd of female cyclists; get over yourself! Besides, don't you know who I am? Haven't you been reading mountain bike action? I am sooo offended.
32nd at Raleigh Crit, 76th at Liberty Classic 65th at ‘Toona and 6/14 at Whitemore hardly makes you “Famous”; I can not believe you even call yourself a “Pro” with a strait face. Come to find out I do read Cyclingnews.com; just not that far down in the results.
You know what probably happened? He probably had a girlfriend/wife, that he just spent $5000 by buying a new Ridley X-night with all the fixings. He works with her for twos week on cross technique. And then BOOM! She gets dropped out of the B/C race. Then she's whining to her and he's yelling at her that she didn't use any of the tips he gave here and you come flying by and kill the A field. She points at you as a justification, and instead of admitting he is wrong, he goes over to tell you that you're wrong.
I can't remember what they call that behavior. But it's when someone, instead of adapting to their environment, tries to force their environment to adapt to them.
Ok I typed way to much......
Keep up the good work
At least you didn't re-mount like the guys I saw in Raleigh - by jumping onto the left pedal first then throwing your leg over in a concerted effort to come out with some major broken limb...
It could always be worse! Just think how fast you'd be if you followed the punters' advice!
oh mandy!
sometimes people suck, even when they think they are being nice. i wonder if he would've done that to a dude who just crushed the field.
bah.
brush it off sista. the people who matter know, and we know when and how to grab the top tube.
new england love to ya
mega
Don't sweat it girl, he may be upset that he can't be as good as you OR... he want everyone to ride as crappy as he does, hehe :) (wisely put -- 'speed wins over style. period')
you know what's a funny phrase?
"grab the top tube"
equally funny, but in a different way:
"grab the down tube"
each a legitimate dismount technique... each some sort of multiple entendre.
i wonder if that same guy was going up to any of the men and criticizing their technique in the same manner. probably not. next time just tell mr. male chauvinist to get lost.
and you *are* famous mandy. :)
Last year K-Dawg took me to my first cross race and I found out that everyone was cool, like in the early days of MTB. Now it appears at least one a-hole has invaded the cross scene (and apparently MTB as well).
If it makes you feel better my dismount technique sucks and I can barely climb over the barriers but who gives an effe? Its fun, its painful and its another excuse to ride.
Sounds like someone forgot about that...their loss.
are you for real?
At the end of the day, we ALL ( from pro all the way down to first timers in tee-shirts) just a bunch of adults riding bikes around in stretchy pants. Incrementally, yes, we do help make things a little better for the world and ourselves (these days it seems to be more and more about the latter, and less about the former), but really, what does any of this matter? I heart Mandy for being honest and real and reacting like a human being when some ass loses the plot like this guy obviously did. Keep having fun. If all else fails, ask yourself "what would Eric Tonkin do"? now THAT guy gets it . . . "MTB Racer", not so much. Won't even post with a real first name . . .
Another thought... maybe this guy on the sidelines really does know what he's talking about - maybe he's a coach who's been teaching cx for 20 years. Maybe he's wondering "doesn't she know who the hell I am??"
Some food for thought.
My first cross race was actually in 1988. I am not an elite athlete although I have been top 25 at Cross Nationals and held a “Pro” MTB License from 1997-2001. I learned cross when there were 20 barriers per lap. In my day technique was important and advice was sought after.
I was actually trying to help. Unfortunately, I got a full run down of just how “elite” ol’ Mandy though she was. He resume was dictated to me by Mandy herself when I approached her after the race. My girlfriend, who didn't race, actually said "wow that was a lot of info" after our conversation. The funny thing is that Mandy didn’t and doesn’t know who I am. I have coached 3 National Champions in Track and Field and a world best in the 3k. Mandy’s resume is actually not that impressive considering the small number of female cyclo-cross racers there are in the USA. In every big road race that I saw on USA Cycling Mandy was in the back half; not a lot of female road racers either to be honest.
Granted yelling at someone while they are competing might be considered rude; unless of course you play baseball, football, basketball, cyclo-cross (where I’m from) or any other main stream sport. “Pro” athletes should be able to take a little criticism from the “armchair quarterback” with a grain of salt. Good luck with your future; your MBA program is more impressive than your cycling resume.
So
Mr. Manville, the author of this blog expresses her regret at her reaction and her desire not to do the same and you take it as an opportunity to attack her and also women's cycling.
Last I checked, US women cycling is tops in the world collectively.
You say you are a coach, perhaps you have forgotten some of the basic tenets of coaching. some of the ethics and detachment needed. Perhaps you forgot that when someone is racing and immediately, post race that they may need some time to wind down.
BTW, this past weekend, I didn't come in last or get lapped, but came close to both, how does my placing in any race dictate how I should feel in any given situation.
Grow up Mr. Manville.
juston said: "advice was sought after"
man, what a jerk that mandy is. seeking you after the race for advice, then rejecting it. or, i suppose, tracking you down to complain about your armchair quarterbacking.
for what it's worth, i scream bloody murder when i see one of the newbies on my team using improper technique, because i've put a lot of time into teaching them. and i'd love to scream at mandy, because i know she'd do the same for me.
what's the story, juston?
I have raced against Mandy many times and i can tell you that she's plenty strong enough to scare the shit out of me - a multiple CX worlds team member and card carrying pro road racer. In fact, she was fast enough last year to scare the shit out of almost all of the USA cross racers at last year's national championships when she spent most of the race contesting a podium spot. Currently USA female racers are world ranked either 1st or 2nd. And at last year's US National Championships, i think there were over 80 starters in the womens Elite field. I'd say the USA womens CX field is plenty deep! What is that expression - those who can't race...coach?
On a more amusing note, the guy reminds me of someone i encountered on a training ride a month ago in California's Marin County trails. As i was ascending a short steep stretch of a singletrack trail - on foot per coach's orders - a hiker cheered me on, telling me "you can do it, you're almost at the top." My thought was, "don't you know that i'm doing this for cyclo-cross training? Of course i can ride the trail." But instead i said, "thanks! I was about to give up." hahaha. you just can't argue with people who don't get it.
With sincerest regards,
P'nutty
Peanut if you are so "pro" why are you always begging places to stay? Stupidbike you should just do the best you can man intervals lots of them and work on your dismount it helps keep people off your back !! I like you stupidbike since you like Vonnegut; you should disassociate yourself with these cocky "pro" cyclists. Don you are probably a douch bag!
Good googly moo. Can't believe some of the nastiness being tossed around here.
Let he or she who hasn't had a "don't they know who I am" moment cast the first stone, but I think we all live in glass houses.
We race for fun. There isn't anybody making a living racing in the Virginia cross series. Let's give each other a break.
Oh yeah Juston?!! Well . . . my Dad can beat your dad up!! Appears you lost the plot some time ago. Have fun being angry! Your future cardiologist will love you for it! I am going to ride my bike now. I'll be the one waving to everyone I see, smiling like an idiot.
P.S. Can I come over and sleep on your floor? I'm trying to become a "fake pro" bike racer like Peanut.
My blog is just a blog. Right now there’s blood and opinions and insults flying from all sides. While Adam Myerson informed me that it is lame to comment on your own blog, I will make an exception today:
1. Thank you to my friends (and those I’ve yet to meet) for sharing their passion for cycling through their comments. It’s awesome to see! Their anecdotes and honesty are great! The cycling community is fantastic.
2. Also thank you to my friends and blogfriends for jumping to my defense and saying such kind things about me. I am humbled by their praises.
3. Apologies to Juston for making him think that I don’t like him. In my post, I kept his identity anonymous to protect him…because I do believe that he meant no harm in offering advice. At the end of the day, my only issue with him was the fact that he didn’t introduce himself to me so we could have a real exchange. Instead he approached me so abruptly. I think I was clear about this in my post. He had a cute dog with him, and his girlfriend looked nice; I’m sure we could have had a conversation. He even mentioned that he knew my former teammate Anna Milkowski. Any friend of Anna’s is a friend of mine, so couldn’t see any reason for us to not get along. As I said, it was just a social pleasantries issue, nothing more. I had hoped by discussing my “identity abrasion” I might share something valuable I learned in business school. I never intended to come off as conceited…quite the opposite: I was making fun of myself because I deserved it! Yet in this endeavor I can’t please everyone, so occasionally my posts aren’t well-received.
4. Regardless of where we finish or don’t finish in bike races, who we coach or coaches us, or how many medals we have; shouldn’t we have fun? I spent far too much time in 2006 and 2007 hating my bike, and I am finally discovering the joy of simply pedaling again. It’s awesome. I celebrate it on this blog and hope that you get some joy out of it as well.
All the best (and I really mean that),
Mandy
Wow. In an attempt to talk about an interaction which led to "identity abrasion" the processing itself led to a tub of identity abrasion or contusion or laceration. How does it happen that things can go nuclear so quickly? You could write a dissertation on this.
I enjoyed the article you referenced, and your willingness to eat the humble pie. Will we ever not be so surprised that there is soooo much humble pie to be served? Love the blog and wish YOU the best!
Mandy, hell most of your fans are just HAPPY to finally hear that you are actually Racing the REAL sport.
So what if ya don't do the pro dismount... who cares...
racing cross is 95% being fast riding a bike...
the rest of it (dismounts and crap) are just there to keep those who can't ride fast thinking they are all PRO and shtuff...
you rock, you will always rock...
as far as coming across not exactly how you mean to... i think i just wrote the book on that sista!
Mandy,
Don't listen to the non-believers. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion. I don't feel the need to grab my top tube either, because I trust that my bike isn't going to spontaneously jump off the course.
We can continue pedaling while everyone else is coasting in order to imitate their 12-step DVD program to becoming a cyclocross racer.
Um, does anyone here actually think "juston" is a real person and not just some idiot trolling for a reaction? It's like you guys are new to the internet or something.
Here is what your response to all of it should be, mandymeow....
Don bought me a beer last week. Therefore, he is not a douchebag. Also, Mandy hooked me up with soda last year so any complaints about her dismount are null and void.
Jay
I came over here from KBlog to read this post.
Fuck that guy. I don't race bikes and I'm not a pro athlete so maybe I'm not authorized to say so but in my opinion that guy is rude and stupid.
I mean... you won the race. What's up with the unwanted critique.
And yeah... baseball and basketball pros may have to take unwanted coaching and critiques all of the time, but they also get paid MILLIONS to do so.
Further, I do believe (of course, like I said I have no merit when it comes to this sport) that he would NOT have given you unsolicited coaching had you been a dude... and him telling you that being a pro female cyclocross isn't that being of a deal because there aren't that many women. FUCK THAT. You are accomplished in your sport... and maybe there'd be more women if the pay out was close to what it was for the dudes.
Fuck that guy.
My friend Maurice used to say this to me all of the time... "just tell them to fuck off". I share that wisdom with you.
ok... sorry, I'm done now.
well, i'd rather have an improper DISmounting technique, then an improper mounting technique.
oh snap!
Come to the beach for the Trashmore race on the 18th (Tripower - K-blog, Cyclochris and Manimal's team is sponsoring it) and they will post a "no-coaching" sign by the barriers. Cowbell and loud cheering only zone.
I'm not a professional athlete either, and at this point I have no desire to become one. (I'll leave that to the hotties like Manz.) That being said, I don't think any athlete, professional or amateur, should be subjected to unsolicited coaching/advice. As an athlete, you are either naturally driven to do your best and improve yourself so you can be a better competitor, or you're not. Some people are just out there to have fun, and a spectator doesn't know where the competitor is emotionally, mentally, or otherwise. I'm not saying that someone can't talk to the competitor. I'm saying that there is a right way to do it. If you have something valid to say, you introduce yourself, give a little bit of your background (showing why you have advice to give, preferably), and ask if you can give them a tip. Then it's up to the athlete to either take advantage of your knowledge or disregard it without major mix-ups and confrontations like all of the crap in all of the previous comments.
As a friend of Mandy's, I want to thank all of her other friends for supporting her.
First or last, it doesn't matter. Unsolicited advice is just rude. You might be giving it with good intent but it just comes across as overbearing and egotistical and makes you look like one of those know-it-all's.
I think it's valid for ANYone to get upset about that.
This entry illustrates what is a fundamental, as we leanred in law school, PROCEDURAL problem. Which is to say that the reason internet debates go ugly early (as they say) is because of the PROCESS more than the SUBSTANCE.
I.e.,these debates, such as they are, occur in writing and anonymously. So it is easy to use words and articulate positions in a hostile way that would be socially unacceptable in real face to face discourse.
For example, had it been a face to face conversation, blog authoress probably would not have used the verb "spewed" when referring to Juston-coach-douchebag's offer of unsolicited advice regarding dismounting (and by the way, I NEVER grab the top tube because I find it hard to balance then and it reduces the likelihood of my getting out of my pedals cleanly).
And Juston-coach-douchebag (if it is really him, and if he is not being ironic or post-modern) almost certainly would not have made the same statements face to face to blog authoress as were contained in his weird, childish response in which he tries to denigrate blog authoress' cycling palmares.
Only on the internet do these kinds of nasty, anonymous, never-resolved debates flame up and flare out....
OK, sociology lecture over. Move along....
sounds like the guy was a joke. Afterall...you did win. Did he?
Hey, I was looking forward to cheering you on at the NCCX #2 race, I even came all the way down from NH just to watch you :P Well, I raced too but you can think I came just to cheer you on :) I guess now I know why, you were at a different race. Maybe next time...
Great job winning another race.
Mandy! you are beautiful and Pro! Be proud of what you represent. I am. By the way, did i mention that you are beautiful? ive seen you race and your skills are better than many.
Hope to see you at the races :)
This is Kevins Personal Driver CXMEH, and he was telling me about the massive blog experience you were having. I had to check it out, and all I can say is WOW. Oh and this...
My unsolicited advice and shameless plug is: Race it out at the Nov 18th VA State Championships Mt Trashmore Cross Race. We would love to have PRO's or otherwise there, because soon, I would like it to be part of the Verge MAC series...it's that good.
We can and will provide host housing for you and whover is with you.
And from the immortal words of Patrick Swayze(Jed) in the movie Red Dawn...."Just turn it in to something else!"
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