taking sub-contracting to a new level

i don't even have to write my own blog posts anymore. thanks, don. this is what happens to the mind of a young man when you shut him in a lab at rutgers with a few hundred books, neuromotor control programs, a bicycle, and tell him to come out when he's got his phd:

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"Sunday, March 18th. Today was the Vuelta's queen stage, a 450k jaunt through El Salvador. Knowing how I like a challenge, the organizers went out of their way to make this one of the most fun stages yet. After a 1k neutral start, the road out of town took us directly up l'Alpe d'Huez, which had been imported from France by the El Salvadorian government especially for today. On the descent, we had to be careful to bunnyhop the new lime-green speedbumps, made out of Schick models.

I attacked. The resulting seismic waves caused landslides in Lima, panic in Paraguay, and tidal waves in Tehran. I chose to sit up, just to give the other girls a false sense of hope, then attacked again. I hope that girl from the Brazilian team is okay... the race doctor said her legs had literally been torn off. A number of locals tried to get on my wheel as I rode away from the peloton; their shattered dreams and lifeless corpses line the roads of El Salvador. Don't nobody cover the attacks of the Lozano.

After winning the stage, I looped back around, taking the scenic route to find the pack. When I rejoined them, they were struggling up one of the many climbs I had already pimp-slapped. Spinning in their granny gears, the other racers looked at me with some combination of malice, jealousy, and unspoken attraction. I was pushing my 53x12, because I'm cool like that. When the stage finished, I did pullups while still clipped in to my bike and then wrestled a bear who looked at me funny.

Back at INDES, we all went to sleep. When we were woken up by an airplane, I went up to the roof, grabbed the plane, and folded it into a 3' cube of aluminum and people. No other airplanes dared fly over us again for the rest of the trip."

this pic at left has nothing to do with anything except a trip to venice in 1997.